God bless you Kitty-chan

On an rare non-raining Kyushu day, Yuka H. and I headed to Yufuin (湯布院) via a bus through the mountains. The bus was fast, cheap, and had a great view of the mountains which were changing colors depending on the elevation.

(Pictured: What the sky looks like when it’s not throwing water at the camera)

Yufuin is a hot spring area, but it has tried way harder to be a resort area than Beppu. The main street away from the station, towards the lake is packed with kitschy souvenir shops (foreshadow warning!).

The location is quite beautiful though.

Yuka took me a bathhouse that she likes. It was small and used mostly by locals. There was no staff or anything by the door, just a donation box that said “200 yen.” So I put my 200 yen in the box, and stepped inside. I put my bag in a cubby hole and started to search for my towel. After searching everywhere, I realized there was no towel. I had forgotten my towel at the hotel… shit. 

Thought #1: I’ll just borrow one from the front desk… shit, there is no desk.
Thought #2: I’ll just buy one from a convenience store… Wait, this is a resort town… shit!

So I go back outside and look at the coin donation box. Forget it bro, that money is gone.

And I am wandering the resort looking for a towel. Let’s see, Organic Honey store… nope, no towels. Cute wooden sculpture store… nope no towels here.  Expensive locally roasted coffee store… no. No towels… Owl petting zoo. Interesting! but no freaking towels…

And then I see it. I knew the moment I saw the sign, that I was saved. Here is a store that has freaking towels!
The Sanrio Hello Kitty goods shop.

You were looking for me?

Finding Towels at the Hello Kitty Store was easy, but I wasn’t looking for  just any Hello Kitty towel. I was looking for a Hello Kitty towel that was not pink. Ok I was really looking for a Hello Kitty towel that did not make me question my own sexuality.

 I was looking for Hello Kitty Towel that did not have Hello Kitty on it…

(Pictured: An honest to God Google search for “Hello Kitty Towels”)

I ended up with this. Given the circumstances, green was a fabulous result. Wait, did I just use the word fabulous?

I take my green towel and wait in the check out line. I look around to confirm that yes, I am the only male in this particular Sanrio Hello Kitty merchandise retailer. I very much appreciated that the check out girl did not laugh at me at all. She was a professional… a professional Hello Kitty goods sales associate…

So I have my towel and go back to the bath house. I look at the 200 yen donation box again.
Come on, you already paid for this once. You don’t need to pay again.
But I looked around, and there was a group of hotel workers across the street staring at me. Damnit. I opened my wallet and put 100 more yen in the donation box just out of paranoia.

Inside, and I strip and get in the bath with a bunch of old men who live in the neighborhood. They were very friendly. They were doing naked calisthenics and started daring me to touch the pure hot spring water that they were arching into the bath tub from a long tube attached to the wall.

Me: “How hot is it?”
Old man: “I dunno, like 400 I think.”
Me: “… Is it safe?”
OM: “Just touch it really fast.”

So I touched the pure, boiling, straight from the source hot-spring-waterfall. And to be safe, I touched it really really fast. It was definitely hot, but not 400…. because …physics.

After my bath I got this sweet Kyushuu Black Ship Porter, you know, to rehydrate.

Beppu, the geothermal time bomb of paradise.

Beppu, in Oita Prefecture, is truly any amazing place. The Kyushu Highway goes through the mountains, and when the bus makes that last hair pin turn and the city comes into view, it almost looks like the town is on fire.

Your bones become soup

Beppu is located on top of some hot magma near Mt. Aso, one of Japan’s most active volcanos. The town has turned itself into a hot spring resort / retirement community. There are numerous hotels, spas, and public baths all over the city. Along with the hot water comes a large amount of hot steam. For the most part this hot steam is just released from chimneys into the air. In the Kannawa resort area, almost every building has a huge amount of steam pouring out of it. This makes the place look like an amazing steam punk village. It’s very cool.

My friend Yuka tells me that the whole area will most likely explode into an intense fiery caldera eventually. That could happen tomorrow or in 10,000 years. People don’t really worry about it. I’ve got respect for people who live on the edge.

Pictured: Takegawara Onsen (hot spring)

Takegawara Onsen was built in 1879. Inside there are men and women’s baths, as well as hot sand baths (where they bury you in hot sand). It is really interesting to see how the baths appear to have melted, as the minerals in the water have reacted with the stone flooring for over 100 years.

Architecture in the 1800’s also had different priorities. There are large windows in the mens changing area. If you are of short stature, the bottom of the window frame will start around your belly button. I often saw older guys standing in front of the window, naked, in order to cool off as the bath is quite hot. It was fine because these guy’s manly bits are safely concealed behind the window frame. After my bath, I too was somewhat overheated, so I went to stand by the large open window. After a few moments, I realized I was somewhat taller than the older guys standing here before, and the cool breeze on my groin alerted me to the fact that I was indeed exposing myself to everyone in the street below. Yes, the open changing room windows face the street.

For some reason I never use that towel to cover myself. Why do I even take it in the bath?

Pictured: Beppu Steam Baths (mushiyu 蒸し湯)

The steam baths in Beppu are also amazing. Here, you strip naked and wear a small cotton robe, and are put into a room that is basically a stone box . They call these rooms “steam pots” which sounds just like the instrument people use to steam rice. You lay on the floor on top of aromatic herbs and are steamed for exactly 8 minutes. I had to come here three years in a row before I could withstand the full 8 minutes.

It feels great though. I sweat gratuitously from body parts I wasn’t aware I had. While I was inside the thought I don’t think I’ve ever sweat this much between my toes before came to mind.

Give me all of your fish heads. I want the fish to watch me eat.

Beppu is also an amazing place to eat. The best part about knowing a local is getting them to take you to delicious restaurants. Beppu is on the sea, so the sea food is great. I also had the best Oden of my life here. Beppu people are friendly and most restaurants have large counters where you can chat with other diners.

Beppu is really great. I think this was my fourth visit in as many years. It is a really great town with good food, great hot springs, friendly people, art, and great transportation.

Nagasaki, Battle Ship Island, and more rain.

I fled Fukuoka in the morning with a headache and a large coffee and made my way down the coast of Kyushu to Nagasaki. I am happy to announce that there is no nuclear bomb stuff in this entry though. I went to Nagasaki to do two things and two things only.

Thing Number One:

Pictured: The Gate to Dejima (with rain)

Dejima was a man-made island built off the coast of Nagasaki in 1634. It was built as a trading post/foreign quarantine zone. Portuguese and later Dutch boats would arrive via the sea, and goods would leave the island by its secure gate. Foreign workers were rarely allowed to leave. The ruling Shogunate at the time was obsessed with eradicating Christianity at the time as they saw it as a threat to their rule. St. Francis Xavier spent time in the region years earlier.

My reason for going to Dejima was that it was the setting for The Thousand Autumns of Jacob De Zoet, a book I enjoyed years ago. I was able to check out reproductions of many of the books settings.

Unfortunately, Nagasaki bay has since been extended outward by various reclamation projects, and Dejima is no longer an island, but sits in the middle of a residential neighborhood, far from the sea. The City of Nagasaki has slowly reacquired all the original land and has begun archeological projects and historical reproductions of buildings.

I also met an old Japanese guy dressed as a samurai who told me this was a cool place to work for retired people.

 Reason for going to Nagasaki number two:

Battleship Island (a.k.a. Gunkanjima a.k.a. Hashima and rain)

Thanks to photos on the internet, everyone knows about Battleship Island. Until a few years ago, it was completely closed off to the public, and only daring Urban Explorers went here, and at considerable risk.

Because everything is falling apart

Mitsubishi bought the island of Hashima in 1890 and started coal mining operations. They eventually developed and reclaimed land around the island, allowing space for living quarters for the miners’ families to be build on-site. The eventual massive concrete typhoon walls, along with the shape of the buildings, gives the island’s profile a shape resembling that of the battleship Tosa, hence the Battleship Island nickname.

Looks like a battleship to me.

The Battleship Island tour was quite short. The boat ride to the island took about 40 minutes, and there was a 30 minute tour of  viewing areas deemed “safe.” Then the boat went for a loop around the outside of the island so that we could see areas that were not safe to be in.

The tour itself was a bit of a tease. You can see all sorts of cool looking buildings in the distance, but you cannot go in or even near them. The rationale is one of insurance I imagine, as buildings and walls apparently fall down all the time.

The foreground is wreckage from buildings crushed by 50 foot Typhoon waves that came over the wall.

In 1959, the island reached its peak population of over 5,000 people. It included an Elementary and Middle School, a public bath house, a swimming pool, a casino, a Buddhist Temple as well as a Shinto Shrine. In the 1960’s Petroleum became the fuel of choice and coal mines were gradually abandoned. Mitsubishi closed the mine and evicted all residents in 1974.

I hope I look better than this in 40 years.

These two Nagasaki History locations were both pretty cool. I definitely recommend the Battleship Island tour to anyone who goes to Kyushu. The rest of my time spent in Nagasaki was less interesting. It rained and rained and I never did find out where people in Nagasaki go to hang out. It was probably the only stop on my tour where I didn’t actually manage to talk to anybody for more than a few sentences.

Further Reading:
Wikipedia Dejima Article
Wikipedia Battleship Island Article
Urban Explorer photos of the island

8 hours too many in Fukuoka

My first attempt at flying to Fukuoka on Tuesday was a failure. Apparently there was some event clogging up all the hotels. I could not for the life of me figure out what it was.

Then I get this message:

Lady from Osaka: “Why are you going to Fukuoka? To support the Tigers?”
Me: “Oooooooh yeah.”

The event in question was indeed Game Four of the World Series between the Fukuoka Hawks and the Hanshin Tigers.

Baseball…

So I went to Fukuoka on Thursday instead, when game five was being played. Apparently nobody books tickets for game five.

(Pictured: Why you go to Fukuoka other than baseball)

The Fukuoka airport is a short train ride from the city center. I was checked in a chowing down on Ramen within 45 minutes of landing. This is Tonkotsu (Pork Bone) Ramen. It smells kind of like rotting flesh, or extreme body odor, but in a good way. It is magical, and very smelly. If you walk around the right parts of the city, you can smell this wonderful fragrance floating around every corner.

Another famous location in Fukuoka is the Yattai, or food stalls. The yattai are set up in a few locations around the city. I was directed to the yattai district along the canal. I chose one that served Ramen and grilled chicken skewers. I tried to sit down at the same time as a few drunken salary men. After some negotiation, we decided to squeeze together so that we could all eat.

Drunk guy on the left demanded we take a photo

These two guys were on business from Kagoshima and demanded that I visit the city because it is “Hardcore.” I’m not sure what he meant, but I added Kagoshima to my list of places to check out.

When it was time to order, I had a bit of a fight with the proprietor.
Food Stall Guy: “Hi, what would you like.”
Me: “I’ll have a beer and some grilled chicken.”
FSG: “Do you want Ramen too?”
Me: “No I already ate Ramen.”
FSG: “Ok, well everybody eats Ramen.”
Me: “Um. How about I eat some chicken?”
FSG: “Everyone who comes here has to eat Ramen.”
Me: “How much is Ramen?”
FSG: “750 yen.”
Me: “Ok. How about I eat 750 yen worth of chicken, and a beer.”
FSG: “Sorry, one bowl of Ramen is required.”
Me: “You’re an asshole.”

But I had already made some friends and didn’t want to leave, so I ordered a bowl of Ramen. I had considered just pouring the bowl of noodles out on top of the counter and ordering chicken, but I had already been drinking and was in a swell mood. So I ate Ramen for dinner twice in 30 minutes. (2 bowls of Tonkotsu Ramen = about 2500 calories)

Eventually more drunk salary men poured in and they snagged a lady in the street and asked her to sit next to me.

Drunk Guy: “Michael. MICHAEL! This girl is from Tokyo. You have to get her phone number. YOU HAVE TO DO IT!”

….So we exchange numbers..

 

Success!

Me: “So what do you do in Tokyo?”
Girl: “I’m a writer.”
Me: “No shit! That’s cool. What kind of stuff do you write?”
Girl: “Um… Mostly adult fiction…”
Me: “You mean, books for adults, or like porno?”
Girl: “Well… a little bit of this and that….but yeah mostly like porno.”

Anyway, the drunk guys drink too much and stumble off to their hotels, and the girl gets up to review some bar for a magazine. When I try to pay, it turns out the drunk salary men paid for everything.

My next stop was a Craft Beer bar across the river. When I step inside, the place is completely empty except for two white guys at the bar. Game Five is on TV, and the local team is winning. Should’t more people be here? I sat down and ordered a beer. After about ten seconds, the white guys chat me up.

White guy 1: “Hey!”
Me: “Hi.”
WG1: “Hey he replied to me, this is great! I like this guy.”
Me: “Huh?”
WG1: “Whats up the with the other white guys in this city. Every time I say ‘hey’ they just look the other way and ignore me.”
Me: “Oh that. Well. Most white guys in Japan are dicks I guess.”
WG1: “No shit. Well that does explain it.”
Me: “I’d probably be a dick to you too, but I’m on vacation at the moment.”

My new white guy pal is in the American Air Force. He’s about 6’2″ and goes by the name of Bass. Eventually all of the rest of his unit files into the bar and it quickly becomes a drunken circus. And then Fukuoka Hawks win the World Series, and free beer starts flowing from the taps. One guy on staff takes his shirt off. Some airman is drinking directly out of a pitcher.

U – S – A! Wait. Go Hawks! Nah fuck it. USA!  USA!

Bass introduces me to each member of the unit as a different person.

Bass: “Creek! I want you meet my friend Michael. He’s a newspaper writer from Nova Scotia.”
Creek: “No shit. I was born in Nova Scotia.”

Bass: “Dane! Come over here, I want to introduce you to Michael. He’s an adult film performer from Los Angela California.”
Dane: “No way, I’m from Orange County!”

Bass: “Jessie! Come ‘ere and meet my new pal. He’s from Dallas Texas, and he has thing for girls with freakishly long middle toes.”
Jessie: “Fuck you Bass.”

Eventually the Air Force starts wandering outside. Some of them still had beers in the their hand. Bass tells me we are going to the “Shooter Bar” next. He then goes to pay for our beers. The staff shows him a price he does not like.

Bass: “What? Six thousand? I ain’t paying that.”
He points at the bill and shouts “This is bull pussy! You’re trying to rip me off.”

Now, in general, this is something people do not do in Japan. Bars don’t usually rip you off and people rarely complain about the check. Then again Bass is an enormous white guy and doesn’t give a shit.

They give him a new bill. A smaller bill.
And we go to the Shooter Bar. You’re probably thinking Shoot Bar = Shots right?

Wrong. Shooter Bar = Guns and booze. Go ahead, zoom in, I only hit the hostage once… in the head.

Bass shooting the biggest gun they had. The biggest gun in their bar.

Ok. They weren’t real guns, they were some kind of pellets, but still, I was in a bar, with a gun, and a whisky. Some dude bought me a cigar, I smoked it holding a gun I was A-Teaming it.

Eventually it got hard to carry on a  conversation with the guy as he would pause every 30 seconds to harass a woman (or man dressed as a woman at one point). Eventually we more or less got thrown out of the shooter bar and Bass went to pay. They bartender showed him a bill of 7500 yen.

Bass: “What the hell is this? I ain’t pay that. That’s bull pussy right there. Bull. Pussy.”

Then it occurs to me that “bull pussy” does not make any sense at all.

And then they give him a new bill… 5000 yen. Unbelievable.

2am in Fukuoka. We took this photo with the passed out guy in the background on purpose.

Island searching for SJF for companionship, fish gutting.

While sailing for Naoshima two days prior, I spotted a few cool looking islands that I wanted to visit.

(Pictured: The GPS location suggests I’m in a sweet undersea hideout)

The drunken locals I met the night before also confirmed that the islands Megijima (女木島) and Ogijima (男木島) where definitely places I should go. The ferries only left once every two hours. So I had to spend exactly two or four hours on each island.

(Pictured: I sailed this piano all the way from Takamatsu)

Megijima, like Naoshima, is one of the participating locations of the Setouchi Triennalle, a once every three years massive art festival that involves many of the islands in the Seto inland sea. This was the coolest random artwork I found on the island.

Megijima is also famous for having a giant cave dug into the peak. This cave was dug out by Japanese Pirates in the 1500’s and used to hide loot and defend against attacks by the samurai. Awesome right?

Now that sounds like an awesome story that would draw lots of Jonny Depp fan-girls to your island right?

(The view is also spectacular)

Too bad the story the island uses, is that this was a cave used by Oni (Ogres). They claim that the island is the setting of old Japanese fairy tale Momotaro. Momotaro was superhuman child who fought Ogres with the help of some small animals. It’s way less cool than real  pirates. The cave was totally lame, full of cartoony, baked plaster Ogres, and devoid of tourists. I regretted going there, immediately, and accordingly, I took no pictures. You can see photos here.

But I did rent another Goddamned bicycle. Also note that each Megijima bicycle rental comes with three free Mikan Oranges. Also note how yellow my skin has become.

While the Ogre Cave was a big let down, I did have a great bicycle tour of the island on my electro assist, magnet rail gun-driven jet bike ($5). This bike had a powerful battery that flung me and my oranges up the mountain with ease.

Eventually I found a  beautiful beach, which apparently is full of college students and families during the summer. In the fall though it was completely empty and all restaurants and shops on the island were closed for the season.

(Pictured: Water that is not black and smelly)

I put my feet in the water an enjoyed some Oranges until the boat came back. In order to buy my ticket to Ogijima, I had to wake up a middle age woman sleeping at the ticket booth. It cost me about $2.

(Pictured: An island Google knows very little about)

Megijima and Ogijima are actually so close together that they are connected by one massive, over-hanging set of power lines strung between island mountain tops. The boat connecting them actually sails underneath these power lines.

(Pictured: The entire population of Ogijima)

Ogijima only has one town, and all of the buildings are stacked on terraces going up the mountain. This presents a unique problem for the island as the average citizen’s age is probably in the 70’s. The slope going up these streets is so steep, that some older folks can’t move around very well, so they have these special carts with tank treads, seating for a driver and one old lady, and a big open basket for groceries.

Unlike Megijima, Ogijima did have a restaurant, which I was happy to see. The restaurant served one thing, Octopus. You could order it Raw, Fried, or Boiled. I went with fried. It was really nice and softer than any Octo I’ve ever had before. They said it was drug out of the ocean just this morning as it currently the Octopus season. There is an an Octopus season apparently.

The only other thing to do in Ogijima is to hike to the light house. It was an OK hike through the abandoned parts of the village. There were many houses reclaimed by the jungle, dead groves of Orange trees, and massive spider webs that show the depressed state of the island. The Lighthouse itself was awesome though. All of the buildings in town were run down wooden structures, but the lighthouse was made of beautiful white stone. The surrounding beach was also beautiful. Again, in the summer, this looks like it would be a happening place.

(Pictured: An advertisement recruiting young women)

While waiting for the ferry back to Takamatsu, I found this ad.

“The Island brings people together, love keeps people together.”

“Watch the sunrise, eat some local food, watch the sunset, meet the local people.”

Even this ad sort of admits that, other than the spectacular sunrise and sunset, there’s not much to do here. Like many places in Japan, the island is old, and devoid of young women. There is lots of work for fishermen, but young women tend to flee the island forever. Small towns will sometimes put together ad-hock match making services for local young farmers/fisherman and women in the city.

My four hours on Ogijima passed quite quickly. I was hoping I could catch the sunset, but the last ferry for the mainland left too early. I ended up seeing the sunset from the boat, which was not terrible at all. Back in Takamatsu, I caught a bus to the airport and flew out for Tokyo that very night.

 

(Mostly because I was out of laundry)

Rain and the Real Japan

On my second day in Takamatsu, it rained.

After looking out my window I immediately canceled my plans to visit another island. Instead I went to a well respected Japanese Garden, Ritsurin Koen, which was quite beautiful, but also had rain falling on it all day long. The good news was that no one else particularly wanted to be there for long either.

I had the tea house all to myself for the good part of an hour. The view looked out on the garden and lake and it was quite peaceful, but it was a bit too much of a fake traditional Japanese experience.

(Pictured: Japanese Tea Ceremony minus the ceremony bits)

In the evening I went out for Udon again…
I think this was my seventh Udon meal since arriving in Shikoku. Seven is not too many. I’m serious. Look at this picture!

(Pictured: Deep Fried Chicken Tempura Curry Soup Udon)

That dish’s name has seven words it. Awesome. It also memorably violated my insides and demanded belt adjustments. On my way out, I had an nice chat with the waiter.

Waiter: “I saw you eating in pain over there. Was it too hot for you?”
Me: “It was pretty hot, yeah.”
W: “Wow, your Japanese is great. Do you live here in Takamatsu?”
Me: “No, I live it Tokyo.”
W: “Ah, I grew up in Tokyo.”
Me: “Oh yeah, how is Takamatsu treating you?”
W: “It’s awesome. This is the real Japan.”
Me: “Yeah I think I get what you mean.”

…

While wandering around town the day before. I found this eye catching advert.

(Pictured: You had me at beer.”

I chose the one closest to my hotel, which was in a not great part of town. The bar had seating for about 50 people, but there were a grand total of six people, all sitting at the bar. When I sat down, four of them left. The other two hit the road a few minutes later.

As I like to do, I wanted to try some local beers make in Shikoku. That lead to a funny moment.

Bartender: “What can I get you?”
Me: “Well I’m on vacation, so I want to try some local Shikoku beers. What’ve you got?”
BT: “Well, I’ve got some bad news for you…. Shikoku beers are terrible. All of them. We don’t carry them. I’ve got some good stuff from the Tokyo area though…”

(Pictured: BT recommended I try this beer because it comes in a cool glass)

So I tell BT about my beer making escapades, and my pilgrimages to the great Craft Beer bars of Japan. He quickly gets the urge to drink, and just starts opening bottles of the “good stuff” and sharing them with me. He confesses that he drinks all of the best stuff that comes in when there are no customers.

Eventually some locals come in and give me some much needed advice on traveling in the area. Then the regulars walk behind the bar, pour their own Pints, leave some money and walk out the door with the beer. They say they are going to a hostess club, but the beer there sucks.

Takamatsu, the real Japan.

Naoshima, college girls, and mistakes made (though regrettably mistakes were not made with college girls)

On some random weekday (because days of the week become meaningless) Felice and I split up and headed off on our own adventures. I took a train to the capital of Kagawa Prefecture, a city called Takamatsu.

Takamatsu is a large port city on Seto Inland Sea (瀬戸内海). I had no idea what was going on in the city, but I heard that it was the main port of entrance the island of Naoshima, known to most people as the “Art Island.” Naoshima is home to a large number of fancy art museums financed by the Japanese mega corporation Benesse.

Like most decisions I made, I decided to go to Naoshima the night before on somewhat of a whim. Like all rookie adventurers, I knew that if I wanted to go to an island, I needed to find the boats. Luckily Takamatsu Harbor is a 5 minute walk from Takamatsu station. This was so easy that I didn’t even have to plan the trip, which is not a smart strategy. I was on the boat before I knew anything about the destination. Luckily, I had cell service.

(Pictured: Thank God it is the future)

I had no idea what I was doing, but I got a hold of a friend who gave me some tips. Thanks Kayo! Somehow I still had great cell reception even though I was on a boat in the ocean. That gave me enough time to come up with a realistic plan for spending half a day on the island. At least I thought it was a realistic plan.

Right after I got off the boat I saw some bike rental places and had the following conversation with myself:

Me: “Hey you should rent a bike! Bikes are awesome and it will help you get around the island super fast!”
Me: “You’re totally right. The weather is totally great for a bike ride! Let’s do it!”  (26C/80F)

So I go to rent a bicycle. The first shop was run by a young guy. He tells me that he only has electric assist bikes available, and that they are 1500 yen ($15) per day.

Me: “15 Bucks! That’s an outrage! What do I need electric assistance for?”
Me again: “This guy is an asshole. Let’s take our money someplace else.”

A 100 year old man in a back alley rented me a 1 gear bike with no brakes and a shopping basket. The basket was useful to hold all the Mikan Oranges I kept receiving.

(Pictured: It sounded like a good idea at the time)

With the sun on my back I petalled out of town and immediate found the largest mountain I have I seen in quite some time. 10 minutes after renting this POS I was pushing it up a Black Diamond slope and sweating enough to leave a trail. 30 minutes later I reach the Chichu Museum located in what I assume is the super villain hollowed-out-volcano, tip of the mountain.

(Pictured: Not a blast bunker. An art museum.)

At first, I was unhappy for being so sweaty, and I thought the museum was oppressive with it’s odd Soviet Concrete depression stylings. Inside all the of the staff was dressed like Nurses in complete white and they kept bothering me to tell me not to take photos. I was also still angry that I had to pay 2100 yen (20$) to get in. But then this room blew me away.

(Pictured: No shoes allowed)

This museum houses three very large Monet paintings. You have to take your shoes off to go in the room where they are displayed. The amazing thing about this display, is that it really appears that the Museum was actually built to house these specific paintings. From the lighting, to the size of the room, to the color of the flooring tiles. Everything is designed to display these three paintings. It’s quite beautiful and unlike any other museum I have been to.

When I went back outside I picked up my bike as three college girls with electric assist bikes pull up. They were not sweating. A few seconds later, some college boys zoom in on rented Vespa Scooters. The girls swoon. “Oh wow, those scooters look fun! I wanna ride on the back!” 

(Another picture of my bike, with zero college girls on the back)

Now, at the tip of the mountain, I start my descent, and realize the bike does not really have functioning breaks. I go down the mountain very very fast. At some point I surpass the speed of sound, and could no longer hear myself scream. I hoped to reach the opposite shore and check out some of the artwork that is on display near the beach…

(…but instead, I hit the giant ramp at the end and crashed into the sea in a burning ball of white-hot flame like a two wheeled Icarus who rode too close to the sun.)

…

The coolest thing about Naoshima is that there is artwork that scattered around the island. These outdoor artworks were not marked on any of the maps that I had. This made for some good adventuring as I was often rewarded for driving down unmarked paths or climbing around sort of dangerous places.

(Pictured: Naoshima squares)

Further down the road I found the Naoshima main attraction.

(Pictured: Still life with college girl)

I don’t know why this Pumpkin is so popular. It seems to have become the symbol of the island though. It is also hounded by girls at all times. This photo includes a college girl as she would not get out of the frame no matter how long I waited. While she was taking photos with it, other groups of college-girl tourists came and took photos with it at the same time. They are all in each others pictures.

These girls had a two hour picnic in the presence of the pumpkin.
Note how these girls are wearing nit caps. It was 80 degrees.

When the sun got low, I started to head back to the ferry. I pushed my bike up the mountain again and those fucking scooter riding genius-assholes zoomed around me again. I considered killing them out of sweaty rage and jealousy, but let’s face it, they are on Vespa scooters, no amount of rage will make me go fast enough to catch them. You win this round college boys.

My final stop on the island was the Public Bath “I love 湯.” The name is a Japanese pun. “湯” the character for hot water, and is pronounced just like the English word “You.” So “I love 湯” is pronounced I love you. 

(Pictured: Penguins allowed)

This place was very cool. It is a classic Japanese public bath, but refurbished in a sexy 1970’s-modern way. Inside the men’s bath (I did not visit the ladies bath…) the floor of the bath was tiled in a series of reproduced classic adult artworks. There were recreations of Geishas slipping out of kimonos, ukiyoe love scenes, beer advertisements from the 1920’s, and Japanese topless pearl divers known as Ama. 

Naoshima was very cool. I definitely want to go back and spend some more time there. I highly recommend it.

Photo Credit Simon

Excuse me waiter, which way to the vomitorium?

After shipping out from Omishima, Felice and I headed to Kagawa to meet someone who is an award winning creator of home cooking. This lady had promised to take us to all the best restaurants that serve Kagawa’s specialties, Udon and Yakitori.

These aren’t super high class dishes, noodles and chicken, but the flavor was completely different, and way better than any I’d had anywhere else in Japan.

Noodles in hot soup with raw egg.

Incredibly long noodles out of soup (Cold noodles + Cold Soup)

This first restaurant was amazing. It was pretty much surrounded by rice fields in the countryside. The noodles are hand made by an old guy each day. Because of this, the Udon shops are open from 10am till “when we’re out of noodles.” The noodles were hard and chewy and the best I’ve ever had.

Me: “Why is the Udon here so much better than any other place?”
Her: “Well its the water. They have really good water here. Also the noodles are made from special wheat grown in this area. We also use local ingredients for the soup.”

The second Udon shop we went to had seating for about 50 people, and parking for about 150 cars. I guess sometimes it gets busy.

Hot Noodles outside of hot soup and beer (cold)

When we left we encountered the Udon Taxi. This is a tour your can book where a fake taxi drives you around to various Udon Shops. Note the bowl of noodles where the Taxi sign usually is.

(Pictured: not a real taxi, will not take you to the airport. Maybe the Udon Airport…)

After eating several tons of noodles, our guide says were are going for some Yakitori. Normally Yakitori means grilled chicken on skewers. In Kagawa, Yakitori means this

(Pictured: Half of a freaking chicken with bone handle)

Me: “When I go out for Yakitori, I usually eat like 10 Yakitoris. How many do people in Kagawa order?
Her: “One.”

So now that we’d eaten lunch three times this afternoon, I promptly passed out in the back of the car. I slipped into a deep food coma.

This was an excellent day of eating. I did not get hungry again until dinner time the following day. I consider that a successful day on vacation.

Bonus photo. At our hotel, there were all these weird Buddhist Iconography inspired porno artworks hanging on the second floor.

“What kind of hotel is this?”

Taking the first train out of the city

After coming back to Tokyo, I immediately had the desire to leave Tokyo again.

(Pictured: Hieroglyphic rocket train ticket to the moon)

I took the first Bullet Train out of Tokyo Station at 6 am on a Sunday morning. The cool thing about this was that the JR Train employees were all lined up behind the ticket gate welcoming people and saying good morning and bowing deeply. It was just like a department store opening if you’ve ever seen that.

The plan was to meet Felice in Fukuyama, then take a bus to some island in Shikoku she knew about. I really didn’t understand the plan very well, but whatever, I didn’t care.

After taking a winding bus route of mountains, crossing several large bridges, we got off here at an island called Omishima (大三島).

(Pictured: The Seto Inland Sea)

This view was amazing. It was incredibly quiet, and the bay had scattered small fishing boats floating peacefully. Many of the people we ran into were just sitting around watching the ocean.

As it turns out, Felice and I were to be volunteers at a charity piano concert. I’m not entirely sure why we were going to do that, but we did. It was mega awkward because no one knew why we were there, but we were. I also met some quirky locals.

Local people of interest:

• The Mikan (type of Orange) Farmer.
  “Did you know that Wild Boars are have an insanely adept Orange pealing ability? I’ll wake up in the morning and go to my orchard, and there will be scattered, perfectly pealed Orange peals all over the place. The first time I saw it I thought some kids had broken in.”
• The Wild Boar Hunter (by far the largest and buffest man on the island)
  “Would you be interested in purchasing some leather products? I made this wallet and key chain out of some Boars I caught”
• The Old Man Farmer.
  This Gentleman came to the concert wearing pants that were not buttoned on top. He did not come to the concert to hear Piano playing. He came to catch his grandchildren and force them to work in his rice field.
  “Where those lazy kids at?”
  It was a success, I saw him leave with two elementary aged girls 10 minutes before concert started.
  “Grampa says it’s going to rain so we have to go drive a tractor or somethin.”

The Concert was really nice and I definitely didn’t do anything other than stand there and smile like a good token foreign boy. After that we checked into our hotel, which was a converted Elementary School. I had some flashbacks to my days as a school teacher while brushing my teeth in a 20 foot long sink in the hallway between the 2nd and 3rd grade classrooms.

Now lets talk about food!

(Pictured: a fish caught that morning, split up and deep fried. The tail was the best!)

(Pictured: reasonably priced Octopi)

How did they get the price tags to stick on slimy sea creatures? And am I just supposed to drop this into my shopping kart as is? Can I at least get a bucket or something?

Same-sex marriage. I saw it first.

Sooo… Same-sex marriage is kind of a hot topic these days. There are lot’s of laws being made, then unmade (or not, if you live someplace like Michigan).

My sister recently married to a woman, in full public view, at a park in Niagara Falls.

 

This is a picture of my sisters. I share DNA with one of them. Good luck figuring out which.

Below are some notable moments:

• My sisters were temporarily accosted by a large group of middle aged tourists from India, who had absolutely no idea what was going on. “Are you two sisters sharing a wedding?”
• The wedding was delayed for one hour due to the wedding officiant having a schedule conflict pop up. How does that even happen?
• The wedding happened in a public park, any one could just walk in and join the ceremony if they wanted to. Lots of tourists came and took photos. At one point, an entire second wedding showed up. Perhaps we should have asked to borrow their officiant.
• During the wedding vows, a small child attempted to climb over the wall and jump into the raging maelstrom of Niagara Falls. I ran out and grabbed her off the ledge. I actually rescued a baby at a wedding. True story. (Hopefully that baby got some counseling and there will be no further suicide attempts)

So how was the wedding? It was weird. But it was weird in the same way that all weddings are weird to me. A family member (or friend) is making a life-long comment to a person I don’t really know (because I live on the other side of the Earth and knowing people takes time).

It was also weird because there were two girls kissing (Gross! Flashback to middle school! Girls have cooties!), but I have to say that it must have taken a lot of guts to have a controversial wedding, in full public, far from your home and in a completely unpredictable location. I was a little paranoid about it. I was less worried about Al Qaeda throwing grenades at the wedding than I was some other random tourists starting trouble. Many people came and watched for a bit. One Chinese girl took a shitload of pictures. That was about it. There weren’t any hagglers, Fox News reporters, or abortion clinic bomber types. I suppose these people don’t really get out much.

I still have to give props to my sisters for having their wedding in public. I would almost say that those chicks have balls, but I am a scientist, and anatomy is a thing.

(Pictured: one of my finer wedding-car designs)